Clay in Japan
Warning: not too educational
I have lived in Japan for a while now. I feel it is due time to reflect on this and try to
draw a theory of gaijinic living in Japan. If the reader will
forgive a few anecdotal irrelevances, I shall present my theory
as a pictorial view of life in Japan through the eyes of a gaijin.
#1: The first Law of
Gaijin is, Gaijin like sumo. The above picture
attests to this fact. I am a文化家 ‘bunkake‘ (a cultured
book-worm who abhors sports and physical activity.) So, I
will never be caught dead watching a baseball game on tv, but
when it comes to Sumo – I’m there!
#2: Gaijin are wanted
as models and other unsettling roles – AND they have to wear
things. <SEE PHOTO AT LEFT> Yes, <Gulp>.
That’s me in the <GULP AGAIN> blue suit. I got paid $100,
but it hardly seems worth it when everyone else got to wear
really cool samurai-like clothes! This law extends to doing other
things where English or a gaijinique mood is required. I
have even had the experience of doing a TV commercial.
Thankfully, it was not shown in my prefecture.
#3: A gaijin’s desk is
always messy. This law by extension also applies to
apartments and backseats/trunks of cars. Should anyone doubt this
claim, I have more photographs. (Notice how the gaijin in his
natural environment saves space for his coffee cup and electronic
dictionary. – two of the most essential daily tools.) Granted my
test subjects are relatively few (myself and …), but wherever I
go, this phenomenon extends itself around me. In fact, I have
evidence of this phenomenon EVERYWHERE I go. Coincidence? The
evidence is against such a conclusion.
#4: Gaijin have the
most interesting adventure stories while on vacation.
Here am I, trying desperately to stay within camera view on my
honeymoon in Singapore. It was an interesting trip.
Is this site helping your Japanese? Do you have a spare $1 to help Clay pay the bills?