Clay in Japan

Warning: not too educational

A Gaijin In Japan


in Tokyo
Fig. 1

Mifune Toshiro, Er... Clay da!I have lived in Japan for a while now. I feel it is due time to reflect on this and try to
draw a theory of gaijinic living in Japan. If the reader will
forgive a few anecdotal irrelevances, I shall present my theory
as a pictorial view of life in Japan through the eyes of a gaijin.

Fig. 2

: The first Law of
Gaijin is, Gaijin like sumo. The above picture
attests to this fact. I am a文化家 ‘bunkake‘ (a cultured
book-worm who abhors sports and physical activity
.) So, I
will never be caught dead watching a baseball game on tv, but
when it comes to Sumo – I’m there!


: Gaijin are wanted
as models and other unsettling roles – AND they have to wear
<SEE PHOTO AT LEFT> Yes, <Gulp>.
That’s me in the <GULP AGAIN> blue suit. I got paid $100,
but it hardly seems worth it when everyone else got to wear
really cool samurai-like clothes! This law extends to doing other
things where English or a gaijinique mood is required. I
have even had the experience of doing a TV commercial.
Thankfully, it was not shown in my prefecture.

Fig. 3

: A gaijin’s desk is
always messy.
This law by extension also applies to
apartments and backseats/trunks of cars. Should anyone doubt this
claim, I have more photographs. (Notice how the gaijin in his
natural environment saves space for his coffee cup and electronic
dictionary. – two of the most essential daily tools.) Granted my
test subjects are relatively few (myself and …), but wherever I
go, this phenomenon extends itself around me. In fact, I have
evidence of this phenomenon EVERYWHERE I go. Coincidence? The
evidence is against such a conclusion.

Fig. 4

: Gaijin have the
most interesting adventure stories while on vacation.

Here am I, trying desperately to stay within camera view on my
honeymoon in Singapore. It was an interesting trip.



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